Ive been a mom for 14 years., a mom to three totally different kids. Some consider me strict when they see how I parent. Some think I’m too picky with my expectations, too lenient with the things around them, but after being in the middle of raising three children, I have taken my list of mistakes and my list of techniques and created a customized parenting book (in my head).
One thing Ive learned (and implemented with my third child) is letting them explore the craziest random things that he wants or finds along his routine stroll around the house. Instead of saying “no” and taking it away from it, I stop what I’m doing (sometimes with a frustrated “sigh” for having to stop what I’m doing – again), sit beside him – at his level – and watch him/allow him explore it. I’ll even teach him how it’s used, what it’s for. I dont ever want to stop him from being curious or stopped from knowing what something does when he spots it. Allowing this also “get’s that out of his system”, often times bores him once he realizes how lame it might be lol. He then often times will ignore it from then on, not get into it, not bother it – which is the best part! I dont have to put up “breakable things” (most of the time). After allowing him to explore [it], he now knows and no longer cares.
I do this technique with most things because I dont want to ever “shelter” my kids, hide them and their curiosity from the world, or pretend certain things dont exist. I know the after effect if I do the opposite.
My test child (aka my first born lol) helped me on adjusting this certain parenting technique. There were a few things I “hid” from her, a few things I sheltered her from, and when she got older and found out for herself from some other setting, she mentioned it to me as if i was the dumbass LOL. I’m like, “Wait, what? I knew that! I just didn’t tell you because you were too young!” Then she gives me that valley girl attitude tilt to her head and smirks in disbelief as if I’m trying to stay relevant.
So now I am the FIRST to explain something to my kid if they run across it, so they feel 100% comfortable coming to me about anything, knowing there is nothing they can’t share, nothing to be embarrassed about. I see that change be effective with my second child and even Oliver.
Parenting is hard. There is no rule book for Dummies for being a parent because every child (and parent) is unique and one of a kind. There is no one size fits all. Therefore, it makes sense that parenting is one of the hardest things a person could do in their life—if you thrive to be a good parent. If the desire isn’t there, then I by no means want to encourage or talk up shitty parents—parents who don’t strive, you suck.